If you are a homeschooler then there is no doubt in my mind you have gotten THE question at least once.
“How will they learn to Socialize?”
This has always been a funny question to me.
I think the better question would be how don’t we socialize.
One of the reasons we need to homeschool is because we are so actively busy socializing that we could never take 7 hours out of our day for school.
It has always been funny to me how this is the number one question I get from those who aren’t really familiar with homeschooling. “What about Socialization?”
What about it? I am sure that my children are learning how to interact with other people by doing just that. We don’t keep them locked up at home like some people may think. In fact I am often looking for a way to spend some time at home because we are so busy socializing.
We do different activities with different church groups. Lots of outreaches. I want my children to learn how to “socialize” with all different types of people. Not just the ones in their classroom or immediate sphere. They are able to converse with people of all ages and styles. And I love that about homeschooling. I don’t want their world to be so small.
There are always sports and classes. But we also spend time together talking and just getting to know one anothers hopes and dreams more and more each day. I give them opportunities to deal with real life issue like making business calls all the way down to asking for help at the grocery store. I don’t want my children to grow up and be afraid of the world they live in.
One last thing on the topic of socialization. My daughter was in public school until 4th grade. Every report card she would get all perfect grades. We would go to the parent teacher conferences and it was always the same.
“Kalene is a wonderful student, but she socializes way too much!”
Year after year we heard the same thing. So apparently there is a place where you aren’t allowed to socialize. And that is at school.
Socialization is just another reason to homeschool in my book!
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What a great article!! I also find it funny that people ask about socialization. Our school district won’t even let kids talk to each other during lunch time. Seriously?? So they get a 15-20 minute recess everyday to talk to others? That’s it? Because they definitely can’t “socialize” during class time. {sigh}
.-= Rachel @ Surviving The Stores´s last blog ..Fun Friday Freebies! =-.
Thanks for commenting Rachel, it’s so true. They don’t want to have the kids socializing, yet it’s the number one debate regarding homeschooling. I don’t get it.
Well, my kids can be as sociable as they would like to be, and sometimes I can’t get them to stop talking =)
You hit the nail on the head. My 8 yr old knows how to “socialize” with all types of people. Not just other 8 yr olds.
I can only WISH my children were a little LESS SOCIALIZED.
At least until my teenager gets a driver’s license and can help with the transportation for all the socializing. LOL
-Christina S.
Homeschool mom to two girls for 10 years
.-= Christina S.´s last blog ..The Itch =-.
I hate when people ask about what I do to make sure my DD7 is ‘socialized’. As if any 3 year old is capable of teaching another 3 year old anything.
Socialization is “a continuing process whereby an individual acquires a personal identity and learns the norms, values, behavior, and social skills appropriate to his or her social position.”
Hmm, I’ll break this down for those who think that being around other children is equal to socialization — (1) continued process — nope, I don’t want my kids to be around your kid enough for this to happen; (2) acquires personal identity — again, don’t want my kid to be just like your kid; (3) learns — this would mean that someone is teaching and don’t know what your child is capable of teaching that I would really want my child to learn; (4) norms, values, behavior, and social skills — as if your child is the epitome of human behavior and such; and (5) appropriate to his or her social position — what position would that be?
I homeschool because I can socialize my child — I can ensure that there is a (1) continuing process whereby an (2) individual acquires a personal identity and 3) learns the (4) norms, values, behavior, and social skills (5) appropriate to his or her social position.
So, tell me again, oh non-homeschooling experts how my child is not being socialized? If you, non-homeschooling expert, can explain to us homeschooling parents where we fall short in the above 5 elements then I’m sure we will ALL gladly look to you for guidance. Until then, leave us alone.
Kristen, thanks for writing this post. I think it’s the #1 question every homeschooler gets. Sure, there is a bell curve when it comes to homeschoolers. But if the public school were doing such a great job of socializing people then we wouldn’t have the drugs, alcohol, crime among young people that we do have in this country.
.-= Sara @ Saving For Someday´s last blog ..CVS: Weekly Deals 3/14-3/20 =-.
Sara, thanks for adding so much to this topic. Great points!
I just wrote a post this past week about how I am tossing around the idea of homeschooling. This “socialization” point was going to be hit on next, but I wanted to talk through my desires and such first. My daughter is only 2.5 years old so I don’t really need to have it all figured out just yet. But you had some good points in here!
I do have to admit that there are those unfortunate few that cast a bad light on everyone else. You know the ones I am talking about. They are the 18 year olds that don’t know how to act around other teens and stick out like a well dressed, well groomed, squeaky clean thumb. I had a few of those in my youth group as a teen. We hung out with them cause we had to but outside of church no one invited them anywhere – not like their parents would say yes anyways! they weren’t allowed to go to any movies and didn’t even listen to Christian music, – just classical. No, they are NOT a good representation for homeschoolers, but that is who everyone thinks homeschoolers act like.
On the flip side of that I have a great friend – Emily – who is almost through nursing school. As you watch her zip through her job at the hospital and interact with staff and patients you would have no idea she was homeschooled her entire life. THAT is a good representation. She is highly intelligent, amiable and someone I want my daughter to look up to.
.-= Annie @ Mama Dweeb´s last blog ..Coming to peace with a failed VBAC =-.
The truth is that there are always extremes either way. Thanks for your input =)
Homeschooling critics forget that homeschooled “18 year olds that don’t know how to act around other teens and stick out like a well dressed, well groomed, squeaky clean thumb,” will be “18 year olds that don’t know how to act around other teens and stick out like a well dressed, well groomed, squeaky clean thumb” in public school, too. Anyone who has attended a public school has seen them. These kids are victims of merciless tormenting at the hands of their peers, ridiculed relentlessly in a very cruel environment, or ignored completely, human wall flowers navigating life silently. It isn’t the homeschool that creates people like this; it is their parents and their family life.
That’s a great point.
Great points, everybody! Sometimes my husband frets and says, “our kids are going to be weird I just know it.” (Usually after our kids did or said something odd.)
I just look at him and say, “If they are it won’t be because of homeschool.. they’d have been weird in public school, too.”
I was public schooled my whole life,… it’s got plenty of weirdos trust me.
Personally, I don’t like the defensive posture.
I go on the attack.
“You’re sending your kids you government school? What are YOU going to do for socialization? Aren’t you afraid they’ll be under-exposed to adults, seniors, and younger children? Aren’t you afraid they won’t have enough interaction with the *real world*?”
.-= CaptiousNut´s last blog ..Eviction Chronicles – Episode 422 =-.
I totally relate to this article. I have a son who went entirely through 2nd grade (in a private Christian school) without saying a word to anyone, including his teacher. (he communicated, just wouldn’t talk) He was homeschooled for K and 1st grade and now again in 3rd grade. Was this because he was homeschooled? Nope, that is just the way he is. He talks just fine at home, but never has been vocal in public. He is actually more vocal in public now that we are homeschooling again. He goes to soccer, piano lessons (where he does talk to his teacher) etc. Hooray for homeschool, where he can be himself.
Thanks for adding your experience to this discussion!
yes
yes!
Right here!
Me, me, me!!!
yep!
How to get your homeschooled child socialized? It’s called church…or library…or gymnastics…or co-ops…or any other number of things that you do on a day to day basis! We love just going to Walmart and walking up to some one we dont even know and asking “can we pray for you today?” You’d be surprized the people you will meet and your kids will interact with…the friends that will be made! Amazing!
We are missionaries in Mexico so we don’t get that question very often. I am glad they don’t go to an International school because they spend hours socializing with other kids in Spanish. We live on campus on a Seminary so they can go out and play with the many kids that also live here too.
Janell Poulette´s last [type] ..Soap.com $10 for a $20 Voucher
yep!
We get this question all the time! I think it is because sometimes people just don’t know what else to say.
We homeschool and are always in the process of socializing across age groups!
yes
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