Maybe You're Not Meant To Just Fit In?

Saving Dollarsand Sense

Have you ever felt like you just don’t fit in?

Maybe it is because you aren’t called to.  I have spent my entire life feeling just a little outside of everyone else.  Before I lived my life serving Christ I never felt whole.  I knew that the day I finally broke down and quit running from God I would be made whole and complete. But what I didn’t expect was that I still wouldn’t feel as if I belonged.  I look at my Christian sisters who seem to have no trouble fitting into this lifestyle and I spent so much time wondering why it seemed so easy for them and so hard for me.

I envied their lovely ways and how they didn’t seem to question anything when I was still so rough and questioned everything.  They speak christianeese like a first language while I have trouble with some of the phrases because they sound so cliche and almost seem to reduce God to a Hallmark card saying.  I have been a christian for a lot of years now and have seen the inside of the church’s “inner circle” and decided as much as I love God the church can be ugly.

I still go to church, but I don’t mind that I don’t fit in.  I figure I probably never really will.  I think I might even have come to a conclusion as to why.  You see when my husband and I first went to church we did everything we could to fit in.  And it worked!  Sunday School leaders, Youth Group leaders, part of the prayer team…we had successfully penetrated the inner circle.  It was wonderful and we loved feeling like we had arrived.


All we had really done was change our clothes, the way we talked, and the people we hung out with.  We did that all on our own to be just like everyone else we saw in church.  God doesn’t want that!  He wants you to be the person he created YOU to be and chances are it won’t look like anyone else.

We LOVE being part of the church, but we don’t feel like looking and saying all the right christian things makes us anymore christian and I am now finally realizing that there is nothing wrong with me.  I’m not called to be anyone else but me 😉

So I guess the point of this post is to encourage anyone else reading who is like me and just never feels like they fit in.  God needs every single piece no matter how differently we are cut in order to complete the full picture!

1 Corinthians 12:4-5 

There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working, but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God at work.

 I’ve highlighted one little chunk of the scripture, but I suggest reading the entire chapter!
I also found this chunk in the Message translation interesting:

27-31 You are Christ’s body—that’s who you are! You must never forget this. Only as you accept your part of that body does your “part” mean anything. You’re familiar with some of the parts that God has formed in his church, which is his “body”:

miracle workers
those who pray in tongues.

But it’s obvious by now, isn’t it, that Christ’s church is a complete Body and not a gigantic, unidimensional Part? It’s not all Apostle, not all Prophet, not all Miracle Worker, not all Healer, not all Prayer in Tongues, not all Interpreter of Tongues. And yet some of you keep competing for so-called “important” parts.

Consider the amazing creativeness of God that he creates each of us to be our own unique reflection of Him and not just a carbon copy of the person sitting in the chair next to us at church!

Do you know someone who needs to read this too, please share it with them!

About Kristie Sawicki

Kristie Sawicki is the author of Saving Dollars and Sense, where she blogs about Money Saving Ideas and Frugal Living Tips, as well the Best Coupons, Deals and Freebies around. You can connect with Kristie Sawicki on Google+ and on the Saving Dollars and Sense Facebook page.


  1. This is awesome Kristie! We love our church but I have felt like you are feeling now. Glad to see I am not alone!

    • Kristie Sawicki says:

      I am glad to see I am not alone 😉

      I really did struggle with this for so long, and it can be exhausting trying to live up to someone else’s view of what a christian should look like. I figure it’s much easier to just be myself and let God do the work on me!

  2. I have fallen victim to trying to be the “perfect” Christian mother/friend too. Those feelings also left me unfulfilled. But when I truly turn it over to the Lord and trust in the decisions he is working in my life then I feel at peace. I am glad that you have found this for yourself too. Its all to easy to get caught up in perceptions of who we are rather than be a real Christian.

  3. but what is fitting in… i mean really. Its all perspective.

  4. I think that you are pretty awesome just the way you are. You are better off not conforming to the group mentality anyway! xoxo

  5. I have never felt like I “fit in” either, but the me I am has been successful and happy.

    • Even if you do not see it…. You are an amazing, beautiful and gifted woman. Funny wonder how many want to be like you. I’ll bet you’d be surprised at how many and who they were. Yes, just be you . God has not created a more beauitful you than YOU!!!

      • Kristie Sawicki says:

        Thanks! I don’t want anyone to be like me, I want us all to come to the place that we can be perfectly comfortable being ourselves even if it doesn’t “look” like a christian.

    • Kristie Sawicki says:

      Karen I guess it just has taken me some time to realize it’s perfectly okay to not fit in, I will be happy & successful too!

  6. Even if you do not see it…. You are an amazing, beauitful and gifted woman. Funny wonder how many want to be like you. I’ll bet you’d be surprised at how many and who they are. Yes, just be you. God has not created a more beauitful you than YOU!!!

  7. This post reminds me of the song “The Great Pretender” that was reworded and sung by Righteous Pop Music. It talks about wearing the right clothes, saying the right thing and tithing the right amount. All those are superficial and don’t make you any more than what you really are. God made you to be who you are for a reason.

    The pastor of the last church I went to in Chicago was talking about people volunteering to do everything the church had a need for. He said not to fee you need to do this as maybe it’s not your calling. Maybe your calling is to sit in that pew and pray for those around you.

  8. That was a really great post. Thank you for sharing. It really is okay to not fit in like everyone else. Being who we are is most important.

    Good for you!

  9. What an interesting article. Interesting because for someone that it really speaks to they wonder why you thought to write it. You could not have written what floats around in my head better. Although I have held all the leadership positions in our previous church (we left because we were searching for something for the teenage set) we have not joined this new church which we love but just feel so inadequate. Not the right language, not the strong enough something. I know our faith and strength are struggling (strange considering where we moved to) but feel we are in the right place nevertheless. Life is constantly in flux; thus the name/definition so we must adjust our minds. Thank you for getting mine thinking. You are right we all have a purpose and you just demonstrated that. May God bless you with peace and the desire to keep searching and striving.

  10. This was a very timely read for me as we have been trying to do the same thing recently and are simply not completely comfortable. I think the key to happiness personally and financially is to celebrate your uniqueness and live with it in peace.

  11. I clearly march to the beat of a different drummer. And I’m okay with that. I don’t think I’ve ever fit in. Anywhere. Even at church. I did all the “right” things, but it still never felt right. Thanks for sharing!

  12. I’m always amazed at how the lesson comes when you need it. I shouldn’t be, I know that’s how God works. This message was written months ago, and I just found it, just as more will find it in the future when they need it.

    I’ve never really fit in anywhere. My husband and I don’t really fit in with people very well, and that bothers us, but I don’t think God called all of us to be people persons. Some of us are better behind the scenes.

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I truly needed the reminder that I don’t have to fit any one’s mold, except the one God is molding me to be.


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