Mother’s Day Is Not The Happy Hallmark Holiday

Saving Dollarsand Sense


Today I am reminded that there are many who are hurting this Mother’s Day.

God has all of us on our own paths, and we shouldn’t compare the way God has us walking to any other person’s journey.

Some of us appear to have similar paths, and some of our paths look completely different from each other.

And that is perfectly alright.

As moms, I think we are constantly trying to improve on how we do things.

We often tend to look to each other for inspiration and guidance. Unfortunately this can also lead to a natural human tendency to start playing the comparison game.

You’ve probably heard the quote “Comparison is the Thief of Joy”, but I’ll go further and add that not only does it steal your joy, but it will hold you in a bondage that never allows you to become YOU!

Comparison keeps us from ever reaching the fullness of who we are meant to be! Click to Tweet

I need to stop trying to force someone else’s shoes onto my feet and be content with my own shoes!

But I also need to stop forcing my shoes on others as well.

Mother’s Day is a time when it becomes really clear to me that we are not all created the same.

If you watch TV you’ll see Mother’s Day depicted in a certain way, as if that is the only way.

We all assume that is how it has to be, for most of us it is merely a glimpse of the reality of Mother’s Day.

The smiling, happy faces of those who love us bringing us breakfast in bed, flowers, candy, jewelry, and more is just not the reality for all moms.

For some, Mother’s Day is not the happy hallmark holiday you see plastered on a jewelry store ad.

It is in fact nothing more than a reminder to some of what they do not have.

Women who have lost family, hurting families, or no families at all – Happy Mother’s Day to you!

I pray that you will feel loved and wanted today regardless of the path you find yourself on.

I thank God for the path he has placed me on, but I also thank Him for constantly reminding me that my path is not the only way his children walk.

I want to always be open to seeing the paths of others, and never get so caught up in my own path that I begin to think my way is the only way.

I encourage you to be thoughtful of those who may hurting this Mother’s Day.

About Kristie Sawicki

Kristie Sawicki is the author of Saving Dollars and Sense, where she blogs about Money Saving Ideas and Frugal Living Tips, as well the Best Coupons, Deals and Freebies around. You can connect with Kristie Sawicki on Google+ and on the Saving Dollars and Sense Facebook page.


  1. It took us many many years to have a child. Mother’s day used to bum me out.
    .-= Robin´s last blog ..Curried Summer Squash with Sweet Onions Recipe =-.

  2. Very good post. I struggled for a couple days after Mother’s Day when I finally woke up and discovered that I had made that day an idol in my heart, creating a huge expectation/ experience gap! I was so caught off guard, too. I thought I was past this! So, even if you do have a wonderful family, I am proof that you can still get slammed by unmet expectations on this Hallmark holiday. Go figure.
    .-= Jenn4him´s last blog ..Three More Mondays =-.

  3. God has blessed me with 4 of the most beauitful and amazing children. Each one so uniquely created. I serve a God who likes variety. It’s true we need to be reminded that God loves variety and he has each one of us in his hands no matter how different we are.

  4. Mother’s Day is always bitter sweet for me because I have my mother and my kids here, but my mom lost her mother when she was 15 so I am always mindful of how hard it is for her. Great post!
    .-= Allison ´s last blog ..Mystic Tan Giveaway…Fun in the Sun Day 8! =-.

  5. What a lovely post, thank you for the nudge. I needed one.

  6. After our miscarriage and prior to our adoption, I absolutely hated, HATED Mother’s Day. It’s a good idea for everyone to be sensitive on that day — not everyone has a reason to smile.
    .-= Rachel — Following In My Shoes´s last blog ..Menu-Planning {The Healthy Way} =-.

  7. Wonderful post! I too had a good mother’s day, but hurt for those who can not have children. My sister in law tried for years and wasn’t able to so it hits close to home.
    .-= Kasandria´s last blog ..Walmart Deals, Steals, and Matchups: May 10, 2010 =-.

  8. Beautifully worded, and a good reminder to be sensitive to the journeys and trials of others.
    .-= DogsMom´s last blog ..Windy Wednesday Garage Sale Find =-.

  9. Love this! I have written a post with a similar focus to share tomorrow.

  10. Thanks again for the reminder.

  11. rly nice!

  12. Leslie wilson says:

    I totally agree we shldnt get caught up in our own circumstances and remember those who do not still have their mother. My husband is one of them and yesterday wld have been his fathers bday but he isn’t with us either. He lost both of them before we met. And I often think of them even tho I didn’t k them. This Father’s Day we both will be missing our fathers as I lost my father 21 years ago to a drunk driver so I do k what it’s like not to have my daddy but cannot imagine not having both parents. Thank you for the reminder that today was NOT just my day as I put it. But all mothers and even those who are no longer with us. I feel I have been selfish in a way today.

  13. Brenda B says:

    Thank you for this. My Mother’s Days were not always the joyful ones they are these days. After years and years of longing and trying and trying again to get pregnant, God worked a miracle and I adopted my son Ben, 18 years ago. Prior to that, Mother’s Days were sad and empty. I remember the second best Mother’s Day gift I ever received was a card from my mother. I was single and more than anything wanted to be a wife and mother, and my mother’s loving thought helped me remember that God knew the desires of my heart and He would answer my prayers (in His time). Now this will be the 2nd Mother’s Day since she passed away and this seems to be an especially hard time for me and tears are shed.
    Thanks for all you do. God Bless you and Happy Mother’s Day!

  14. This is such a well-written post and a beautiful reminder for everyone! I feel very fortunate that I have my mother still with me and my two beautiful children, but I know that for many this is a difficult holiday – thank you for your words!

  15. This is a great reminder! I know mothers who have lost children. I hope that they can be comforted by happy memories of the child they lost, but I know that’s not always possible.

  16. How thoughtful of you to consider others who may be hurting. We spent years dreaming of children and battling infertility. There were some tough Mother’s Days for us that came too close to pregnancy losses.

  17. I never thought of it that way, thanks for showing me a different prospective.

  18. Wow, Kristie, this is such a good reminder. There are so many moms hurting this Mother’s Day. This is so powerful…. “I want to always be open to seeing the paths of others, and never get so caught up in my own path that I begin to think my way is the only way.”

  19. This still stirred me as much as the first time I read it.

  20. Mother’s Day has been very bittersweet the last several years for me. I lost my mom much to soon and am reminded every year what I am missing out on by not having her with me. At the same time the year after my mom died I had my own daughter who I am so happy and thankful to have in my life. So while I love being a mother and being celebrated on Mother’s Day I still have that hurt from losing my own mom to keep from really enjoying the holiday.

    • Amy, I am so sorry I cannot even begin to imagine what it would be like to deal with losing my mom.

      I will pray you feel comforted this weekend as you celebrate motherhood with your daughter!

    • I was just thinking of that reading this post. Growing up my mother had her mother, so it was an all around happy day. My 7 yr old daughter came 3 years after my mother’s passing. I get it so much! That for us, today just has some very heavy weight to it. The emptiness, the void in our heart, is more so reminded of their absence. My lil one feels it and it crushes me that she celebrates me with a limited amount of joy equaled with empathy and sadness. I would like to work on that. No matter how much I smile and tell her I appreciate her love and joy for me. She see’s it in my eyes, my demeanor. It is what it is. God Bless!

  21. Mother’s Day can be such a painful day for so many reasons. My sister in law has been trying to conceive for several years so every Mother’s Day that goes by without a child in her arms hurts all of our hearts. That said, I take the day to be grateful for all that I have- my own mother, my mother-in-law, and of course my children.

  22. Last year marked my dear mother’s 10th yr anniversary. I had tried extra hard to be strong and to only think and focus on the wonderful gift in the years that I did have her. Midday my cell phone rings, I answered particularly because of the area code (my two brother’s live in). When the caller an older woman asks for my dear mother’s name. I was dumb struck, I fumbled a bit and she realized she had the wrong number, she apologized and hung up. I stared at my phone and shed the tears that I needed to. Mother was giving me permission to mourn the greatest loss of my life this far. I love you forever and you are forever with me. I miss you everyday. Thank you for everything.

    • Rosa, I cannot imagine the pain of losing my mother. I am so sorry for your loss, but I see that phone call as a blessing. You can’t move on until you really go through the grieving process (or so I have been told). I hope your heart will continue to heal and that one day maybe some of the pain will subside <3

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