The Pit Of Compare

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Do you ever feel like you just don’t measure up?

Lately I have found myself slipping back into an ugly pit I know so well once again.  It is a funny thing really because you don’t notice it right away, it is a slow slope.  You don’t even realize you are dancing along the edge of the pit until you lose your footing and then it is too late because you’ve fallen head first into the mucky yucky place called the Pit of Compare.

I must admit to you that I have found myself here all too often.  In fact I have spent so much time here in the past that I even decorated and hung pictures on the walls to make it feel less pit like.  I tell you this because I should have recognized this place sooner, after all it is a place that I have created with my own thoughts for myself.  It is almost a comfortable place in the beginning of my stay, but it always turns into a prison that keeps me from enjoying life and other people.

We do it in all areas of our lives.  Women are the worst because we are taught from an early age that we must be the sweetest, prettiest, most likable, smartest….

And when we make the mistake of looking around us, we might notice that we don’t seem to measure up.

It is easy in the blogging world to begin comparing little things.  THAT blogger has it all together.

Her blog looks immaculate.

Her posts are perfect.

She gets the best offers.

She runs her blog business without any errors or setbacks, while I can barely keep up with my email each day.

I need to remind myself that this place is for all of you, I cannot compare my blog to any other because then it would become a copy of someone else and not what you have come here hoping to find.

The reality is the only person we need to compare ourselves to is ourself.  The people we are comparing ourselves to are only giving you a glimpse at the whole picture anyway, and usually it is the best view of themselves that they are sharing.

Example:

If I make a batch of brownies and include a huge amount of pepper into them you may never know.  If I show you a beautifully edited photo of my brownies you may think I make some amazing brownies.  But the reality is that you are only seeing a picture of the reality and they are in reality inedible.

(By the way, I DO happen to make some mean brownies)

But the point is that we compare our whole selves to a glimpse we see of someone else.  That’s really not a fair comparison then, it is just a trap.

When I do finally realize I am in the Pit of Compare it doesn’t usually take me very long to get out.  There is a ladder that I have discreetly placed against the wall and all I need to do is remember it is there and climb out.  If you are finding yourself in the Pit of Compare, remember there is no other  person who can fully do the job of being you!

It also helps me if I try to come up with a list of three things I am proud of in myself even if noone else would agree :)

 

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About Kristie Sawicki

Kristie Sawicki is the author of Saving Dollars and Sense, where she blogs about Money Saving Ideas and Frugal Living Tips, as well the Best Coupons, Deals and Freebies around. You can connect with Kristie Sawicki on Google+ and on the Saving Dollars and Sense Facebook page.

Comments

  1. I’ve been there!! I do like your idea of making a list of the things you are excel in! {HUG}

  2. What a great post…I think we all feel like this sometimes, and it is normal.

    I used to worry about what others were doing, but now I just worry about me. There is much less stress that way :)

  3. Angela Pageau says:

    How true this is especially for the Stay At Home Moms….we dont drive new cars with a new hefty payment because we live on one income….we dont have the biggest house on the block or the cleanest for that matter, my house would never compare to the rooms in Better Homes and Gardens unless you count the before pictures….and finding time to fit everything in before school gets out for your oldest son means no time for spa treatments or working out at the gym for that perfect figure…LOL

    So, I agree, we shouldnt live in a pit of compare since at the end of the day if you the car still runs, the house is still standing and you tucked your kids in bed at night (and praying that they fall asleep before midnight) then you have to find the positive in your life and find happiness in what matters, not what you dont have.

    Great post and have a great day!! :)

  4. So that’s what it’s called. You know what’s strange? I never felt jealous or compared myself much to people…until I started blogging. It’s hard to keep from comparing myself, but you’ve got some great points and tips. I’m off to come up with a list of things I’m proud of myself about.

  5. Don’t feel alone in that pit. I’m there all the time. It is hard to get out sometimes. We need to be accountable to Christ and be all that he created us to be. He didn’t create us to be someone else, just us, and if we are keeping our focus on that, that is enough. :) So much easier than said than done sometimes, I know. I don’t follow a lot of bloggers. Actually, you’re the only one. I glance at a few others maybe. I think your site is wonderful and encouraging. Thank you for that! :)

  6. Kit Cook via Facebook says:

    I didn’t dance and slip, I plunged head first I swear!

  7. Jolyn Felten via Facebook says:

    I am stuck in there today. Feeling decidedly inferior in every arena.

  8. Jill Monthei Schultz via Facebook says:

    Great post and I feel that way a lot too.

  9. Kris – you ROCK it girl! You say what others were thinking! I LOVE IT! I shared on two FB pages 8) No make that 3 of my pages! XO YOUR BLOG ROCKS and your writing is awesome!

  10. I don’t really compare my blog to anyone else’s, but I have been guilty of comparing the opps others get to what I get.

  11. This is a great post. I heard something a while back that rescues me from The Pit every time. “You have to run your own race.” If you are running and start looking around at what others are doing, you are bound to fall down or get left in the dust.

  12. I haven’t been in the pit of compare with blogging but I have definitely been there in my parenting. Sometimes I feel guilty because I’m not one of crafty moms that makes and decorates ever birthday cake, or sews ever holloween costume. I feel bad because I have many friends who home school and don’t have the patience for it. I just have to realize that every mom has her area of expertise mine is just not in the craft and home education departments. :)

  13. I feel I dance around the pit most of the time. My blog is very new, so it’s nowhere near as fabulous as others, plus I don’t ‘get’ most technical terms so I’m really in the dark.

    You are not alone, dear.

  14. Wonderful words and, yes, like many others here, they resonate with me. In low times, I try to remember that “people” will treat you how you let them treat you. Or whatever the situation may be. These wise words were given to me by a trusted, dear co-worker many years ago, before I was married, before I was a parent, and I still remember them today. Keep up the great posts. I trust you’ve added “blogging” to you list of what you do well !

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