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Why Family Matters

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I don’t know all of the details as to why or how a family can turn their backs on one another.  But what I do know is the damage that is caused is really felt by the weakest of them due to this act.

Many years ago there was a breaking in our family.

Addiction, abuse, bitterness, and pride were the catalysts of many years living alone with a broken and abusive parent.

I was raised by an addicted teen mom who had grown up in the secret shadow of sexual abuse by a family member.

This was long before the Lord intervened and transformed my mom into the woman she was always meant to be.  And while I do not understand all that was involved in the decision that some made to walk away, I had learned growing up to ignore the constant reminder of the hole that was left behind when a large piece of our family left.

I realize now that it could not be easy to deal with a sister who was so broken.

But whose responsibility was it to protect those who were most affected by the years of isolation. Cut off from the rest like a diseased body part?  Set aside and forgotten about while life went on for some as usual.

Please do not get this post wrong.  I am not pointing fingers or passing judgement.  For the truth is that I have turned my back on my own family as well.

It can be emotionally exhausting to try to keep a relationship with someone who constantly pushes you away. It is certainly easier to pretend there isn’t a problem.  Getting involved will cost, and you may find you just aren’t willing to pay that price?

Could we instead set aside our adult hurts and histories and look into the eyes of a child and choose NOT to turn away?

I know I’m not the only one who hasn’t been raised with the model of how a family sticks together.  It warps small minds into believing they are on their own.  That extended family is insignificant.

I do not believe God would ever have us to fend for ourselves in this world.

Our families (all of them) are there to give us glimpses of God’s face and his mercy.  The good, bad, and ugly.

We don’t want to look at the ugly things.  So it is easier to pretend they are not there.

It’s our natural instinct to protect ourselves, but who are we forgetting when we choose this way?  The littlest ones are left unprotected.  Their hearts left with a hole that can only be temporarily filled with “other things”, only to find the aching will not go away.

The enemy whispers lies that there is something wrong and dirty with them.  That they are unlovable and unwanted.  That they are easily forgotten.

But this is NOT what God says!

You are whole and made clean

1 Peter 5:10

New International Version (NIV)

10 And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.

You are loved because he chose you!

Ephesians 1:4

New International Version (NIV)

4 For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight.

You are NOT forgotten!

Philippians 1:6

Amplified Bible (AMP)

6And I am convinced and sure of this very thing, that He Who began a good work in you will continue until the day of Jesus Christ [right up to the time of His return], developing [that good work] and perfecting and bringing it to full completion in you.

I had an awesome opportunity to watch as the hand of God took back years of a broken family and put them perfectly back together again this past weekend!  And I am forever thankful for his gracious love that makes us whole!

I am excited to see where the Lord is taking this!

We make decisions in a moment that we are so stubborn to stick to without really knowing the consequences.  I pray that I would learn to take time to really look at how my choice will help the enemy’s plan.

But my GOD is bigger!

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About Kristie Sawicki

Kristie Sawicki is the author of Saving Dollars and Sense, where she blogs about Money Saving Ideas and Frugal Living Tips, as well the Best Coupons, Deals and Freebies around. You can connect with Kristie Sawicki on Google+ and on the Saving Dollars and Sense Facebook page.

Comments

  1. What an awesome testimony! Thanks for sharing!! May God Bless you and your family!

  2. I have had the separation happen in my own family, then later in my husband’s family. It never felt “right” after certain family members were cast aside. I still hope that someday, the families will be put back together.

  3. Kristie, Thank you for being so transparent. Families are under so much attacking today from the enemy. But God IS bigger! HE will heal broken families. You are proof of that! Keep your eyes looking up and your knees bent. You are encouraging.

    Warmly,

  4. I married into a family that does this, and as a result my children are affected. It’s a hard pattern to break in a family.

    • I can understand, but the neat thing to know is that is can be broken. The sad part is the damage that is done in the meantime.

  5. Great post! My husbands family was broken apart and last year was brought back together, it’s amazing how families can be so bitter towards each other, and then so forgiving at the same time.

  6. There was a fracturing in my mom’s side of the family when she and my father divorced – it was very difficult to go from a kid who saw her cousins lots and lots to never seeing them anymore. Now things are better – but it was wounding. I’m so glad that things are moving towards reuniting for your family :) Thank you for sharing. God IS good!

  7. Beautifully written and so right on!! I have come from a family of many factions and fissures and breaks. My husband also came from a less than desirable backround. We chose to make “our” family a whole unit guided by the awesome, loving hand of God. There was a major healing several years ago with one family member that has now gone on to our Heavenly Fathers arms and I’m so thankful! Always try to make that peace up until the very last possible moment. I’m glad that you have found reunion and joy and hope that it is lasting.

  8. Thanks for being so vulnerable and reminding us of these timeless truths. God is good even when people aren’t.

  9. This is beautiful!!!! I can’t seem to share it on my wall. I’ll keep trying because people need to hear the truth about God’s love and family. Thank you for sharing.

  10. AMEN!!!!!!!

  11. Frugal Frannie says:

    Thank you for your testimony! I have suffered a broken family for years and my husband’s family has now become broken. God is so Good! I pray for yours and mine.

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