There are a lot of things that I think might have contributed to the state I soon found myself in, and many of them were completely out of my control.

But recognizing the cycle can be very helpful in knowing when to jump off the merry go round before it gets too fast to safely do so.


You blame yourself for something you weren’t entirely responsible for, or you blame other people and overlook ways that you contributed to a problem.


Instead of saying, “I made a mistake,” you tell yourself, “I’m a jerk” or “I’m a loser.”

“Should” statements

You criticize yourself or other people with “shoulds,” “shouldn’ts,” “musts,” “oughts,” and “have-tos.”

Emotional reasoning

You reason from how you feel: “I feel like an idiot, so I must be one.”

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