Health Update: Trying to Keep my Attitude in Check

The last few months have been filled with doctor appointments, tests, and mostly good news.

Last month I found out that I have some abnormal cells on my cervix. The doctor spoke positively about the whole thing. She said that they were precancerous cells. Some were grade 1 cells and some were grade 3 cells.

You can read all about that here.

Today I went in for a test that would allow the doctor to see my cervix more closely and get rid of the abnormal cells.

After the last test, she needed to determine a couple of things.

1. How many areas had abnormal cells and which areas had grade 1 or grade 3 cells?
2. How advanced were things? How deep did the abnormal cells go?

I was expecting her to be able to scrape out all of the bed cells and send me on my way. This would have been the best-case scenario.

After a few moments, she said there were two areas that have Grade 4 cells.

She said she would also need to biopsy both areas, which she did right then and there.

I hate to think of myself like a big baby, but the moment she attempted to biopsy the first area I practically hit the ceiling.

I was NOT at all expecting the pain. I laid on the table with tears streaming down my face uncontrollably the entire time.

Thankfully it was over within a few minutes. Now I have to wait for the results, which she said wouldn’t be back for a couple of weeks.

December 23rd I will find out the next step, Merry Christmas to me!

Sometimes it’s hard to stay positive when it feels like things are so out of your control.

It’s so crazy to think that I went in a couple of months ago for a routine physical and now I am facing the very real possibility of battling Cervical Cancer.

I trust that God has a plan. But I would be lying if I pretended that I am totally fine.

I came home and pretty much took the rest of the day to just process the information I was given.

Today I am trying to accept things as they really are (or could be) while also having faith that God has everything under control.

The thing is that I know there is a very fine line between Faith and Denial and I don’t want to cheapen God’s Story of Grace in my life by pretending everything is just dandy.

I know I am not the first one to go through this, and I am SO thankful for all the sweet messages I have received from those of you who have also had to walk this path.

Thank you for understanding why there weren’t many deals posted today.

Also, thanks again to everyone for praying and thinking of me during these last few months. It means the world to me to know I have an army of prayer warriors on my side 🙂