I don’t know all of the details as to why or how a family can turn their backs on one another. But what I do know is the damage that is caused is really felt by the weakest of them due to this act.
Many years ago there was a breaking in our family.
Addiction, abuse, bitterness, and pride were the catalysts of many years living alone with a broken and abusive parent.
I was raised by an addicted teen mom who had grown up in the secret shadow of sexual abuse by a family member.
This was long before the Lord intervened and transformed my mom into the woman she was always meant to be.
And while I do not understand all that was involved in the decision that some made to walk away, I had learned growing up to ignore the constant reminder of the hole that was left behind when a large piece of our family left.
I realize now that it could not be easy to deal with a sister who was so broken.
But whose responsibility was it to protect those who were most affected by the years of isolation. Cut off from the rest like a diseased body part? Set aside and forgotten about while life went on for some as usual.
Please do not get this post wrong. I am not pointing fingers or passing judgement. For the truth is that I have turned my back on my own family as well.
It can be emotionally exhausting to try to keep a relationship with someone who constantly pushes you away.
It is certainly easier to pretend there isn’t a problem. Getting involved will cost, and you may find you just aren’t willing to pay that price?
Could we instead set aside our adult hurts and histories and look into the eyes of a child and choose NOT to turn away?
I know I’m not the only one who hasn’t been raised with the model of how a family sticks together. It warps small minds into believing they are on their own. That extended family is insignificant.
I do not believe God would ever have us to fend for ourselves in this world.
Our families (all of them) are there to give us glimpses of God’s face and his mercy. The good, bad, and ugly.
We don’t want to look at the ugly things. So it is easier to pretend they are not there.
It’s our natural instinct to protect ourselves, but who are we forgetting when we choose this way? The littlest ones are left unprotected. Their hearts left with a hole that can only be temporarily filled with “other things”, only to find the aching will not go away.
The enemy whispers lies that there is something wrong and dirty with them. That they are unlovable and unwanted. That they are easily forgotten.
But this is NOT what God says!
You are whole and made clean.
1 Peter 5:10
New International Version (NIV)
10 And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.
You are loved because he chose you!
Ephesians 1:4New International Version (NIV)
