Sometimes we just need a change of perspective!
If you want to know How to Save Money, read more below.
Debt and poor financial choices held me in the bondage of debt that seemed so overpowering and impossible to get free from.
My husband and I were very young when we were married and living on our own with two small children. We really were never taught any kind of financial skills for our parents.
So we listened to all the lies that said we should have what we want when we want it, and at any cost.
This translated into several credit cards, a car payment, and financed furniture. We spent any cash we had on fun stuff without any regard for the future.
Before I knew it I found myself in a position of never having any money. I would hear myself say it all the time. “I don’t have any money” became my mantra and I didn’t even realize that the prison I was creating for myself really had nothing at all to do with money.
I said that over and over until I believed it and it became my reality.
God blesses each one of us with what we need. But I do believe that we can misuse our money. If you are not spending your money wisely, you will feel like you don’t have money when the time comes for something you need to spend money on. When the truth is that you’ve already spent it where you didn’t need to.
Once you have made the decision to change the way you look at money, you’ll notice a few things.
No longer is it just for whatever we desire. Money appears to be nothing more than a means to an end. What I mean is that we live in a society where money is necessary. We work, earn money, spend it, and then start the cycle all over again.
Long before I could begin to change my spending habits, I needed to change my views of money. I had plenty of money, but I was the type of person that didn’t really think things out. If I had money in my pocket and saw something I wanted or needed, I simply bought it. I never thought past that moment in time. And I never even considered the possibility of planning for my expenses.
I found myself in a hole plenty of times because of my spending choices.
We were in terrible credit debt. The bank was looking for their money. And it seemed like we never had enough. The stress was almost unbearable and left me feeling hopeless.
Then I heard a lady speaking on the radio one day. She made the comment that we all have money, but need to make decisions regarding where we will use our money. What she said was so simple and yet it changed me from that moment.
I believed what she said more than what I had been saying to myself over and over.
The walls of my debt prison began to crack a bit, as I realized that maybe it wasn’t that we didn’t have enough, but rather we were not using our money wisely.
So I stopped saying I don’t have money and began to look at each situation as a decision. As a moment to choose if I had the money for That. And I stopped feeling guilty if I decided that we did not have the money for something.
For the first time, I realized it was okay to say no to our indulgent selves.
It was slow for a long time. But I was changing my views of money. It was no longer a necessary evil. It was now a tool that we could make work for us if we made the right choices.
Try to look at each moment when faced with spending and decide if this is something you have the money for? If you really don’t have the money for that coffee, don’t buy it.
How do you currently view money?
Howdy I am so thrilled I found your web site, I really found you by mistake, while I was researching on Yahoo for something else, Anyways I am here now and would just like to say thank you for a incredible post and a all round thrilling blog (I also love the theme/design), I don
We were also very young when we married and within 6 weeks we found out my baby daughter had been molested by two men who later came out as gay. Our money went to court ordered counselors, psychiatrists, doctors, investigations, and most of all: corrupt lawyers. For the first 4 years of married life we were spending every dimenof our future fighting for a barely 2yo child. After those first 4 years and our intro to the corrupt legal system in the US, things weren’t quite as heated, but the damage was done. We would likely never recover, but held out hope of such anyway.
We never had money because it went to loans for lawyers and the baby’s medical debt. We never went on vacation or bought new clothes, and had to borrow for groceries.
Then several years later we had a second daughter. It wasn’t two many months before we realized something was wrong. She stopped developing correctly, then lost speech and intentional hand usage. Christmas of 2006 we got confirmation that she has a rare condition called Rett Syndrome. That was our Christmas present, that and a surgery to remove tonsils and adenoids in order to lessen the chance that she would stop breathing. Her central apnea in the brain was outside of our control, this was just a fighting chance.
We have no money because we have no money. It doesn’t matter how I look at it, one entire paycheck worth of seizure meds costs one entire paycheck. The Healthcare mandate cost us 36% more in raised premiums, less food on the table (and I cook from scratch) and no digestive aids for our disabled dd.
Its not always a matter of poor financial planning, although we had no training either. We never had a chance to take trips to Vegas or buy furs or something. Some people have a harsher life than they could have ever imagined. Nothing I do can put all the medical debt behind us, nothing will change what we must do every day and night.
I write this because people see our old Suburban and inability to do very much and think we must be foolish simpletons. People see that I value life but think I should have done things differently. But these people assume, they do not walk in my shoes as I hold a seizing 10 yo girl. Never assume someone’s money troubles are because they were simply materialistic or immature, you just never know. I look at money as how much digestive aids, or seizure reducing supplements can I squeeze out instead of buying underwear. It is what it is and you know what? I am ferocious at it.
Rebecca, first I want to tell you I know all too well (personally) the pain you and your family are going through.
Thank you for sharing your story. Your comment is a perfect example of LEGITMATE reasons that people never have money. You didn’t really HAVE a choice in the expenses that have put you in a financial hole. Your story is the exception and not the rule. My heart breaks for everything you have been through already in life and I hope that you can get the help that you need for all that you are dealing with!
My husband and I have always been pretty financially responsible and have tried to encourage others to make smart choices regarding their spending. We often would receive odd looks when we would say, “We can’t afford that,” to others when asked to participate in pricey activities or purchases. We realized that we weren’t properly communicating our choice. It wasn’t that we couldn’t afford, but that we wouldn’t afford and there is a big difference. There are a lot of things we can “afford”- the $5 splurge on coffee, a new shirt, night at the movies- but we very often choose not to indulge in these things because we have our eyes on a bigger prize.
Thank you!
I think this is a wonderful article and very insightful! When I first trudged out on my own I made the same mistakes! And if I didnt have the money for the things I wanted right then I would simply charge it with the thought that I’ll have the money later and just pay it off… needless to say I too found myself in some credit card debit! I’m still in debt but I’m slowly working my way out of it and spending/saving money for the bigger picture rather than just the “ooh I want that! I have to have it!” moments. It is a slow and long process but I know that once I have the things I really need and want and no more debt over my head it will be well worth it!
I needed to read this. I’m actually going to read it more slowly now and really take it in. I really liked what you wrote: “So I stopped saying I don’t have money, and began to look at each situation as a decision. As a moment to choose if I had the money for That.” That’s what I find myself saying lately and I’ve got to stop and say what I want to feel. Thanks!
Great post! Praise God He gives us all we need, may we ask Him for wisdom on how to spend what He gives us! At our house, our financial motto is, “We’re wise with our money, so we can be kind with our money.”
Thanks for linking up today! ~ Michelle
Thanks Michelle I love your motto!